Friday, September 16, 2011
What We Got & What We Lost
NRI community is getting huge day by day. And people do get a lot and lose a lot with this status. It just made me to write on this topic because obviously I am a NRI and I did get a lot and also lose a lot out of it. So why not share about it is what I thought.
Now before talking about it I just wanted to put forward how people behave with us. I categorize them into many types. One being, people who consider NRIs as the Alaipaydhey US maapillai types and sees us like Aravind Sami coming to see Roja at the kookgraamam. Two being, those who consider NRIs as people who have money growing trees at their backyard. Three being, those who can find all the possible faults in life to put on the NRI and make them feel bad for taking the decision to be a NRI. And then those who treat NRIs as they treat everybody else. I don't want to get into what their actual intentions are. Because I myself am confused sometimes to actually tie it up with what they think and how they behave. So thats a whole different story. Lets just get back to what we get and what we lose.
Let me first start it with a positive node. Yeah Yeah !! Its true that we get a lot by being a NRI. Most importantly the financial upliftment of not just the NRI's family but also the closely tied relatives of the NRI. In someway or the other one can see an impact. Apart from that the family will get used to the comfort living that is present in many western countries but not in India. Equal participation by all the members in the family which is 75% absent in India according to my opinion. Men & women both work and they do it both at office and at home. Now considering the stay at home moms, even though they stay at home, guys do help them which is absolutely unacceptable in the eyes of the perusugal in India. Well, not in all household, but surely in most of the desi houses. Vacation time, birthday parties, family get togethers, temple visits, window shopping including trying out different clothes without buying it, coffee shops, long drive during fall season, next door old lady, kids with nuni naaku english, so on and so forth are just amazingly fun. There is a saying that there should be a little distance between any two families eventhough they seem to be head over heals close among each other. That sure works out in our case. Family visits in tourist visa is the most enjoyed days of the year. Aha, what all we get but there is a price for everything.
First thing first, Money. Yes, we do earn more. But people do understand this clearly. We do spend a lot too. The curry leaves are given for free in India when you buy groceries. But we buy it for Rs.45 - Rs.90 here. And the proportion would not even be half of what you get. So I guess, you get what I mean. And then I can go on with my grocery bills if someone has any doubt about it. Don't even start with the other monthly bills. So its not that we earn, bank it and live a very peaceful life. If so everyone who came out of India will go back to India with that kind of money and take retirement and live a happy life. I've known people who struggle to cover their monthly expenses. Next is the financial help needed by friends and relatives. I am not pointing everyone but there is this attitude that we always have a stash of money left in our bank and when people ask we should just openly throw it away to them. That is not true. Just like any middle/higher middle class family in India, we depend on our monthly earnings and lending it as a help needs some reasonable thinking. Am I asking too much here ?!?!
Coming to the next point eventhough we enjoy a lot here, we do lose so many cute and nice happenings in India. Marriages most importantly, whether it is of a friend or of a cousin. Its just so heart breaking to just see them in the photos and not physically present there with all the kith and the kins. Festivals like Diwali, pongal are just another day here. Eventhough we follow it the same way as we do it in India, I have to accept to the fact that its not just the same feeling that we get there. Shopping is a breeze here. Go to a shop, look for things, buy it and go on to the next shop. Most of the shops will be air conditioned and the customer service is just so good. But somehow my heart goes for that Ranganathan Street to which I can go by that ever crowded train and somehow manage myself to jump out of it in the station and walk into the stairs and look at the even more crowded street from the bridge and merge myself into that most happening place in Chennai. Kids do lose a lot. Those short stories from thatha and paati. If mom and dad both works, they start to go to a school/daycare even before completing a year in their life. Non stop talkings of thatha paati, uncles & aunts , cousins & neighbours that goes to their ears are totally missing here. If the kid has siblings, thats a huge backup.
People, its not that we are on the top always. We do have our own bumps here and there and we do go through it just like any other person. We have our highs and we have our lows. Just like everyone else. And I don't think its fair to treat us like Chitti robos, and I mean both the good and the bad, since both of them got that special treatments from everyone. Individuals like next door boy and the next street girl do get out of their country. So during their frequent visits or a not so frequent visits, do treat them the same way :)
Okay !! Byyeeeeeee !!